How to Stay Married: Part 2

So in the first part of this article we talked about the first three action steps that you can use to stay married. Her is the LINK in case you didn’t catch the 1st one. Before you read any more understand that I am not a marriage professional or counselor. Many and most of these steps Jackie and I try to do. So, much of this is coming from personal experience. My areas of specialty are fitness, food and football. I know a little bit about Jesus and have a lot of experience from learning from my mistakes. With all that said if you would like to continue reading I think it will help you grow closer to your spouse in your marriage.

4. DON’T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.
Ever heard the term “the grass is always greener on the other side?” I am not a huge believer in that. The grass is greener where you water it. Let that sink in a second. If you take the grass at your house for granted and think, “it will be ok” or “ it will all work itself out” or “its rained enough,” you are going to turn around and your grass will be dead. It’s the same with your spouse. If you take them for granted and don’t take time to tell them and show them how important they are to you, then your spouse is going to search for someone else that pays attention to them. All the ladies reading this think I am talking to the men. Not true. Ladies, you have to pay attention to the man of your home. Love him, admonish him, tell him how thankful you are to have him. Let him know that you appreciate him.

Men, if you occupy your life with work, fishing, golf and letting off some steam with the guys, your lady will have to let off some steam too. Let’s just hope its not too late and she is not letting off steam with the guy at work who tells her how nice she looks or that she smells good or how great she is at her job or how awesome of a mother she is. He makes her feel like she is the most important thing in the world and you know why? She is.

Application: Go ask your spouse how you can improve as a mate.
You have to be open to hear what they are saying.

5. DATE HER.
Guys, you have to hear me out on this. Remember when you were first dating your wife? How you would just sit on the phone and listen to her breathe? Then how you quit hanging out with your friends as much because all you wanted to do was hang out with her and be with her? WHY has that changed?

Men were created with an innate desire to pursue. To track wild animals, hunt them down, kill them and drag it back to the cave for dinner. What does that have to do with dating your wife?

Glad you asked.
Men were created to pursue! Guys, when you were dating your wife your pursued her. You left notes on her car. You bought her things when it was not her birthday or Christmas. You planned dates and surprised her at work. Are you doing any of that right now?

That may be part of the problem. Just like you have a need to pursue, women have a need and desire to be pursued. I don’t care how independent your wife is, she wants to be pursued and rescued. Ladies, let him seek you and pursue you and let him know how much you appreciate him and love him.

Application: Pay for a babysitter and have a date night 3 times in the next 45 days. Men, you plan 2 of the 3.

6. PURSUE JESUS
99% of all of our problems get back to our relationship with our creator. If you are daily in communication with Jesus through prayer and Bible reading, your life will have a lot more clarity. Notice I did not say “easy.” I said clearer. When both parties are consciously seeking a relationship with Jesus you will be closer.

mariage triangle

As you see in the diagram that I drew on the whiteboard in my kitchen, when you are pursuing the same goal, you as a couple will be closer and will make the 5 other things in this article a little easier.

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