In 1936 Dale Carnegie wrote a book called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” It is one of the best books I have ever read about dealing with people. The amazing thing is that it was written almost 80 years ago and all of the information is still totally applicable today.
I want to share with you a thought from the book and how it can totally change the way you deal with people.
These tips can be used in so many ways. More than just as the title says. These tips will help you create lasting friendships and create amazing business relationships.
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
When you see a group photo what is the first thing you look for? I can answer that for you……yourself. People are not interested in you. They are interested in themselves. Even the most thoughtful person in the world is interested in themselves. This is human nature. If you want to create lasting friendships and ones that are genuine, get out of you comfort zone and dive into other people. Genuinely ask them about their hobbies, their kids and their job. You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming honestly interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get them interested in you.
A smile radiates warmth, it says “I’m glad to see you” or “You make me happy”, and I am not talking about an insincere grin. Think about how you fell when you see someone first, then they see you and the joy that comes over their face when they are happy. Their smile is what makes you feel appreciated and happy. We can all tell the difference in a genuine smile and one that is put on. Make others feel welcome when you are around them and show them your smile.
3. Be a good listener
As we talked about before, people are interested in themselves. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. People know more about themselves than any other thing in the world. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Remember, people are 100 times more interested in themselves than they are you.
4. Call people by their name.
One summer I went to the University of Texas to work football camp for Mack Brown. At the time Mack was one of the most well known men in the state of Texas. A lot of power and a $5million dollar salary to prove it. I was out there 3 days and really did not have a ton of personal interaction with him. I went home and 11 months later I was walking down the hall at my office and in walks Mack Brown. The first thing he says is “oh, hello Thomas” I had not spoken a word to him in 11 months and he walks in the office where I work, not intending to visit me and he called my by name. WOW, that made me feel special. It is said, that the sweetest sound to a persons ear is the sound of his own name. The next thing you will say is “I am terrible at names”
Let me help you with that. When you meet someone, if they do not give you their name always ask. If they do give you their name and your do not remember or did not hear it, ask them to repeat it. You being interested in knowing them will mean the world to them. As you are in conversation, repeat their name as you are talking to them. Example “ So, Thomas what do you do for a living”
This does 2 things. It allows you to say their name and it also gets them to talk about themselves like we talked about above.
When the conversation is left, say their name as you are leaving. This will make a major difference in how people look at you in the future. You repeating their name will make you learn it so you can call them by name the next time you see them.
This is great information, only if you apply it to your daily life. Start by applying it in your home or office and see the response you get.
QUESTION: Which one of these 4 will you apply today?
Leave the answer in the comments below.
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